Wondering when I might feel my old self again

ITS Sunday, here I sit in a beautiful sunny room, with the sun streaming in, and still feeling not my self, why is my head spinning and I am still tied, tied tied tied, I went off my medication hoping it would make a difference, nothing is making a difference, just feeling unwell, bad nights no sleep, with pain, and days of just spaced out wondering when this is every going to end, trying to focus on what I should do next, well its Sunday so I am doing nothing!

Broke my diet last night we went to a 50Th, meal was nice, but not what I call healthy food, deep fried and baked dinner, although we didn't know any one there, it was nice to go out, but by 9am I was ready for bed, we got home around 10 and I went to bed to be awake each hour to two hours....how frustrating...how annoying I want sleep and it wont come....well life goes one and if I do nothing today so be it, just read a good book...maybe a little cat nap...if my eyes allow it..I am starting to think medications are bad for the body, esp anti depressions, they do the reverse to the body, so one can not be alert..well that is what happened to me, so it will be interesting when I see the dr on thrusday what he says when I tell him I went off my medication..

ITs the 1st august another week upon us...maybe this week will bring exciting changes in my life....

Another day another hour,

I am really starting be be over winter, and feeling cold all the time, but yesterday and last night I don't think I could have felt worse....A shocking night, nausea, bad head,. I don't feel any better today, but I forced my self out of bed and made the bed so I wouldn't get back into it!!

I was awake when David walked in the door at 1.15am from work, to his dismay asking me why I was still awake! and even had cleaned my room, folded up cloths put them back in there rightful place, believe me when your feeling sick like I was at 1 this morning I felt the room had to be clean as I though If I don't wake up and least they will find me in a clean room! I have never felt as sick as I did early hours of the morning...

My son Informs me it is only three weeks till his 18Th, I have to get my act together and order the cake, we have booked the venue and invites have gone, out, and I have that to look forward to and our three day cruise in September!! I say bring on spring, winter isn't my favorite any more!!

Well maybe tomorrow will be a better day for me..life goes on

A new day

Even though I haven been here for a while I have decided to come back and share what has been happening in my life!!

I have had my ups and downs, with a shocking back, and depression set in and back to the Dr I went to sort out medication, now they have me on a new tablet only been on for 2 weeks, still not feeling my old bubble self, feeling emotional, physical not well, spiritually I am doing well (I will talk on that further down)

As I sit here at my desk looking out the window with the sun breaming in on me, I think of all the wonderful things that have happened in my life, my family and my friends, even though in the last few weeks one friend, turned on me, It hurt, but she knows no better, I need to let her go, and know God can take care of her, he is the judge, and I am not to judge. Life goes one...

I am blessed in so many ways with my spritual director, who is leading me closer to God, and this help in my spiritual life, with my emotions it is hard to focus on my weight and try and lose it, even though I have promised my self I will walk for thrirth minutes each day, no matter what, and Know I will be better for it...and it will make me strong as each day I wake up to.

In May David and my self went on a cruise, it was nice, even though I got quite sick....but did enjoy our self, and it was great to get off the boat as we did the same cruise last year and couldnt get off it as it was the swin flu ship! we still enjoyed our selfs, despite getting off the ship.. \

well all from me for now but will post some photos up of our cruise

till next time

Joanne