Prayer is the activity especially intended for making fervent acts of charity. During prayer the soul lovingly meets with God. A soul that loves God does so with a pure heart; a heart that loves Him so much that it seeks only after His glory and His will. The prayer of a soul that loves God forgets itself and is ready to sacrifice every wish for Him. Its love grows stronger and will continue to grow as it performs all its actions with a whole heart and with all of its capacity for goodwill. A soul devoted to loving God has made the one necessary resolution in prayer which is to be recollected. Only then is it able to give itself entirely to God.

Time out

Today I did go to the Dr. and told him how I had to go to emergence at the hospital on Sunday with shocking back pain, couldn't walk, which made me scream with the angry pain in my lower back .
so More pain killers, God I pray they don't make me ill like the last lost, and have to have a CT Scan on Tuesday, so in the mean time I HAVE TO just rest AND bear what every my day brings/ no doing a thing,
I was thinking while I was sitting having lunch that we do not appreciate our bodies till something goes wrong ..God has given us a body to be gentle to, to look after and keep fit and well ..I am trying to lose weight and not do the things I shouldn't do but it is difficult now I can not walk because of this pain...These tablets I am on are suppose to make me sleepy, so far I am not sleepy but I pray and just sit in the stillness, and Turn it all over to God, and know I am going to get better.

I need to learn to just relax and know what ever happens it is all in the Lords hands, and I have to learn to trust him more, when I trust my world is better .

My days have been nothing but hell the last three weeks, if not more, but it is like this great horrible dark hole I am living in, no reason to live, no reason to survive, to stay at home all day sleep or cry, continues pain, which isn't helping, wondering why am I suffering so much, the though of going to visit or get out of the house is a great burden, to the extent that nothing at all interests me.

Why is this  happening, why do I fret for the life I had which was good to now, spiritual and loving my God and know where to go in my faith, now it all seems like a dark night with no consolation for my soul, my prayers, my Rosary's and my love for God and Our; Lady has died.

Things have got so bad I have closed my face book account it even upset me I can not stop crying Could this be a depression that isn't going to leave me::"? or is it a spiritual attack "? Either way I don't know what it is and I do not like it,

So I just try and get through each day the best way I can, and Pray that my mood will change for the better and looking forward to Spring..

One day at a time

The weeks have gone so quickly, since our Son was married, we are now in the middle of /the year ~ before we know it..Christmas will be upon us once again.

I was reading an article this morning in the Newcastle herald, about a girl that is struggling with her weight and depression, and how she has got on top of it, by the support and love of her family and friends, and how she say when things are all going right in her life she is on top of her weight problems and dose lose weight, but she she is down the weight comes on, I can relate to this big time, the bottom line of it all is walking and get out and firkin walk this is what she says it is good for the spirit,

Taking my camera out and walking to take photos, is one thing I really love doing,but the last two weeks I have done nothing to that affect, I get in a rut and don't want to do a thing, even the weather affects my moods, if the sun is out I feel on top of the world,but when it is dull and wet, don't even speak to me, I am like a bear with a sore head.

So for the next week I have promised my self, to walk for twenty minutes a day, with my ear phones on listening to my music, this is a challenge for me,and to also get out more and just be their for others.

SO TILL NEXT WEEK i WILL return with positive news

HAVE A PEACEFUL WEEK

life is some times like this

Today Is one of those bad days, where you just seem to not be able to get out of bed or even make the effort to phone a friend, to say you need to talk. TWO days now I have been in constant pain in my lower back, my fault as I wore high heels to my Daughter birthday lunch, stupid me wanting to make my self look nice and now I am paying for it, though it just teaches me not to  make an efford next time.

I have to make a dicision this week, and it is a hard one, as I should be going somewhere on saturday but I am in two minds about going, its something I need to really bring to my prayer life, even though I dont have much of a prayer life at the moment/ I Could possible be going though a dark night ~

It would be nice to be this butterfly for a week, and just be.

The struggle of our Faith/

Well after five months of hell, well it felt like that, I am back to my old self, feeling more like being in a position of writing in my BLOG again

I must admit life is a Challenge, but I do believe with our God on my side, I wouldn't have pulled though.

Each day is a very big challenge for most of us, those that struggle with being put down,not wanted, not accepted, those of us that know in our Hearts we are doing the right thing, but not accepted by those that have a higher power,those that don't want to hear the truth or believe in the truth, This brings me to those Priests who are struggling because they are not accepted, not wanted, and put aside because of the higher power want full control.Bishops who don't see the true meaning in the sacrament of the priest hood.

We pray for those Priests who in their struggles, continue to keep the faith, to just keep going, get up each day and continue to pray and believe that one day the truth will come out. But what a horrible existence to know your not wanted or accepted, because you stand up for the truth, How does one priest continue to struggle though this, well only by the grace of God, those who believe in him and continue to support him in prayer and friendship.

Let us in our daily prayer Remember those priests who are fighting for the truth,That God will bring all those who have higher power to be open to the HOLY SPIRIT .To listen and not to turn their back on their brother Priests.

A new year Approching

this year has not been a good one, to say the least, it seem to get worse towards Christmas, and Christmas day i am not even going their, the worse Christmas i have had for  YEARS But i got through it and survived, through tears and sadness, but i did It. so i am looking forward to saying good bye to 2012 for good, NOT saying what 2013 will bring,

When I was pondering on my life though my prayers the other day, i thought to my self, how things have changed over the years, how people change, and how friends who say  they are friends can turn in a second and be a different person, to the degree they wont speak to you any more, this has happened to me three times this year, and at Christmas time i extended my hand , being Christmas a time of forgiving and friendship, and this person didn't want to know me, so it is time to let them go, but got me is they call them selfs a christian and pray and go to church and yet do this, which i feel is not supposed to be like, but they are the loser, and i move on, i will pray for this person, but will never speak to her again.. A big lesson learnt to never put your trust in any one, only God as he will never leave you.

SO for my new year, I am going to stay away from people who up set me and are negative, and surround my self with loving and caring friends who know my worth, who accept me for who I am , and at the same time pull me up when i am falling down,and this also means getting close to the loving lord, letting him in my life all together, and being open to the will of THE Holy spirit.

I pray we all have a peaceful 2013 and receive many Blessing,
GOD BLESS.