A shocking day

Nothing went right for me today and the reason was I got up after no sleep last night and didn't say good morning to God I didnt even pray today I am so angry lately just out of sorts
And I feel I need to get back on track with my weight and walking
Please pray for me

Divine Mercy

Spiritual journey with Jesus Divine Mercy
let us not be afraid of the Sacrament of Confession. Jesus is waiting for us there

Jesus said, "Tell souls where they are to look for solace; that is, in the Tribunal of Mercy (Confession). There the greatest miracles take place and are incessantly repeated." (Diary of St. Faustina 144 ..."when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to Confession, immerse yourself entirely in my mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of my grace upon your soul." (Diary of St. Faustina, 1602)

My journey began many years ago, I had my faith in God well I thought did , but was so scared to go to confession, to the extent I didn’t go mainly because of the fear,. it was more a block or pride, well we all know pride is a sin, and now that I look back I am sure it was pride, that stopped me from being open and honest in the confession,

In fewer years I did start to go to the sacrament of confession, but still very fearful, not trusting in God’s Mercy or forgiveness, there was a block there...How was I going to get through this block, of being fearful of God’s Mercy .its God you’re going to confession not the priest I would tell myself, but the butterflies would enter and I would feel quite ill and the shame , and mainly the guilt, and all I could say was Lord will I ever get over this? Please take this horrible fear away..

Lord I know your love me but I am so afraid help me please!

So I begin sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament begging Jesus to help me, to take the fear away, telling him how I need to be free of all that was bogging me down...( and was it blogging me down it was making me physical sick!!)

So this one day I was in front of the blessed sacrament praying and all of a sudden I felt this peace come through me it was a strange feeling, and confessions were being heard at the time ,and I thought I will just go and trust in your mercy Lord, but please come with me as I am so very scared!

As I was walking towards the confessional I was feeling more and more uneasy, I knew I had to do this to Because God wanted me back, and I wanted to be back!

As I sat down and began my confession I felt a shift as if I wasn’t there, all I remember is I had got everything off my chest and I felt straight away this peace I have never felt before, When Fr said I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son , I felt so free this peace I have never felt before, and I walked out sat back down in Front of the Blessed sacrament and said to Jesus :Thank you, and the tears were streaming down my face, Knowing that Jesus loves me so very much, the feeling is beyond words.

So Now you cannot keep me away from confession as it is my Refuge, I can last only a fortnight and I go back, just knowing how much Jesus wants to heal me, and I am immersed in his Mercy, each time,

What a wonderful gift we have in this sacrament, and I pray for those who need God’s Mercy and will come back to Jesus in this wonderful sacrament.

Thank you Lord For this wonderful Sacrament.

Let the Light Of Christ shine on you

Easter is the most beautiful time of the year, to be able to renew our faith, in Christ and start again.
Easter for me this year, was very special, I made a few changes in my spiritual life, which I didn't
think I could do, but with the grace of God and hes help I did it, I am a better person for this, but each
day I have to remind my self that it is a struggle, and I need to focus more on Christ, who shows me the
path I should take,

Some times we lean on others hoping they can make us feel better or can solve our problem, that does not work, for me I have to focus on Jesus, and know that he will walk with me through the good and bad days, but I must focus, when I lose focus, that is when I go off track.

EASTER ALSO is a time of family getting together, my family all came Home  for Easter tea and it was more than I could have asked for, I am blessed in more ways than I realise, with my family and friends, I can achieve this wonderful journey which I am on.

I pray you all had a Beautiful Easter.

Time to move on and put the past behind me

Well I am pleased to announce I have lost 1.5 this week, to my delight, I think I should give me self a pat on the back, so what every I have done I must be doing right, so I will keep up the good work. I must say though it has been hard work, very lot of stress I have been under,and sugar levels all over the place, but I have come through it  and will just keep looking forward

 It is Holy week, so I must refocus and get in to a spiritual place, and take time out and just reflect on this week, This Photo reminds me of when I was a small child and I Darling Father used to also go for visit into the church every day, and take me with him and he always lifted me up so I could kiss the face of Jesus, and I recall once saying, Daddy can we not Make Jesus Better!!  I am sorry for Hurting you Jesus I really am..Give me the grace to be a better person.

Eating Chocolate for depression is good//

Yesterday and today I have been so so very down, so what I did was get out the house, went to mass and then shopping, now shopping is very bad when your down and feeling  rotten, because you end up buying bad stuff like chocolate, and that is what I did today.its still sitting in on the bench but I am going to go and have a piece with a cuppa tea, before I go to bed they say chocolate is good for depression, and sunlight ,and walking, it helps the stress levels and sadness that goes on in side ones life.

I have to increase my depression tablets, and have to go back to my councillor, not that I want to, but I have to talk to some one...about losing two friends, this week through my own falt no one really knows how hard it is when you try to explain something to some one and they dont beleive  a word your saying/ they say face relaity, now that coming from someone who I had as a friend, and that I dont deserve to have friends .I am a very horrible person. No wonder I am in a depression again....

My thoughts are all over the place as I write this, thinking how I have to force my self to get up of a morning and get dressed,some day I really hate the world like today.

well enough of me rambling on, time to go and have that chocolate ....and tomorrow I might feel more like my old self...
At Least God loves me if no one eles does...And I will hold that for ever in my heart. he is the only one who really understands me and wont let me down.

Time to move on

Well now this last week has been quite a challenge to me, I have decided to move on, to find a place, where I am at peace with my self, not for any one Else, for me, I have learned, you can not trust any one,not even your friends. they let you down also, I know I have let people down, but IN saying that I will not let People or friends dictate to me, as I was aways dictated to as a child by nuns at school,and as an adult people still thing they can tell me what to do, its a no go zone!!I have felt so completely alone, in the last few weeks, and I have asked my self where is God in all this?

As Mary McKillop put it beautifully

Life has a way of teaching us that no relationship is perfect.
Storms can envelop us with out warning.  who is there for us?
Where is God ? Storm clouds can block out every thing,including, we sometimes feel, even our God .Perhaps it is then,when things are really tough, that we need to heed Mary"s words.
GODS LOVE IS BEST SHOWN IN TIMES OF ARIDITY (1890)

Isn't that what faith is is all about? God is there, we believe,even though we still feel DOWN AND almost out of count.  We still trust in our Good God,even though we feel his absence.
Mary describes beautifully her own experience of finding peace in the chaos that enveloped her.

A quiet and slow healing process, re-discovering, a calm after the storm that had been my life for the past few years (1903

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him (ps 37:7)

knowing when to say NO

This week has be more than a challenge, it has been a learning time through my down days , and my good days, to learn to say NO.  TO food I shouldn't eat, so have been on the right track and lost 1.1kg, and No to people who want to bullier me,.and tell me how I should live my life, and dictate and try and take over me. so through this I have a lost a friend but something had to give and I wasn't buying into what she was selling, in telling me I should do this I should do that,it is sad she couldn't seem where I was coming from,., yes I was angry with her, but she had to know where I stood! It has mad me sad this has happened, but its time now to move on, and not look back, to keep moving to look at the good that is going to happen..

Lent has been a struggle, but I have managed to just try and do what I can., meeting up with friends this morning at MacDonald's, one friend is very negative, But I have learnt to turn off, and just laugh her off, it is good to have time out and to be there for each other, we all need to take time out with our friends, and let them know we do care.

I will continue to keep doing my meditation's, my walking, with a spirit of love in my heart that I am doing this for me no one else, and taking more photos, just love my photography when I am taking photos of flowers, animals , I feel very close to God, like he is walking beside me and also smelling the roses, it is a sense of freedom of been loved, it clears my head, gives me a sense of purpose, I am blessed and Thank God for this, the fact I still do have my eye site, though I might have to have a operation for the cataracts, you appriciate each day when you can wake up and open your eyes and say thank you Lord I am able to see, thank you for giving me my site.,And Thank you for my beautiful family and Friends,